your teen’s bedroom how much messiness can you tolerate

The picture is familiar — clothes all over the floor, an open bag of popcorn, empty soda pop cans, shoes peeking out from under the bed, wobbly piles of books, and garbage spilling out of the can. This is probably the state of your child’s bedroom if you have a teenager. Like many parents, your solution is to close the door, but how long can you do this?
Patience wears thin and you wonder if your teen is going to be a slob forever. Worse, you wonder if his or her messiness will sabotage future success.
Roni Cohen-Sandler, PhD discusses teen rooms in her website article, “Avoiding Bedroom Battles.” Conflicts over bedrooms are classic, she writes, and “one of the top battle-starters between teens and parnts.” Teen autonomy and separation are the real issues behind bedroom chaos. Cohen-Sandler thinks parents need to understand that their teen’s room is their private refuge and they do not want you messing around with it.
Parents need to pick their issues, according to Cohen-Sandler, and figure out how much messiness they can tolerate. “Do you object to messiness, or just filth?” she asks. In addition to clarifying issues, she says parents need to be open to negotiation and compromise, something that is easier said than done.
Barbara Frazier, MSW writes about teen rooms in an article on The Successful Parent website. In her article, “Your Teen’s Room,” she says it is not uncommon for a teenage boy’s room to smell like a locker room and a girl’s room to be littered with clothes. Teen rooms are an expression of personality, Frazier notes, “an extension of the self in which various expressions of the self appear.”
In other words, your teen’s room is a laboratory for experimentation.
But Frazier thinks your teen should be responsible for the upkeep of his or her room. “What goes on in the room must meet the requirements of the landlord” and that is you. While your patience will eventually pay off, you may need to set small goals before your teen’s room is tidy.